Chinese translation

Веселимся и хохмим здесь.
Раздел доступен для незарегистрированных пользователей.
Ответить
Аватара пользователя
Илья Ганеев
Пятикурсник
Сообщения: 573
Зарегистрирован: 04 дек 2007, 12:55
Год поступления: 1977
Год окончания: 1983
Откуда: Москва

Chinese translation

Сообщение Илья Ганеев »

Just over a week ago, a good friend forwarded a message to me, which sent me reeling with laughter. I immediately emailed her to ask if I could share it on my blog. No problem, she replied. Now Monday is here and hard work is beckoning – I think we should begin the week on a high, cheerful note, so let’s have a good laugh at the expense of an unknown Chinese translator. I wish I could locate the original document, but I doubt very much that I’d do a better job of making the English translation this hilariously funny!

******

A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English…

*Getting There:*

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the

hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in

passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel,

because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in

the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new

guests.
On the way to the Hotel

On the way to the Hotel

*The hotel:*

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course

are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are

available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are

invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But

please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar.

We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play

with them self.
All your needs cared for :)!

All your needs cared for :) !

*The Restaurant:*

Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting.

At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and

fiddle with you.
You mean there is a band playing ;)?

You mean there is a band playing ;) ?

*Your Room:*

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In

winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering

views of outstanding obscenity! You will not be disturbed by traffic

noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by

pederasts.
What obscenities? I want to see :)

What obscenities? I want to see :)

*Bed*

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you

have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take

advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts,

blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Specialist Bed-Making :)

Specialist Bed-Making :)

*Above all:*

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope.

You will struggle to forget it.
I think they refer to the Great Wall of China :)

I think they refer to the Great Wall of China :)

Have you enjoyed that? I hope so!
- See more at: http://www.junyingkirk.com/?p=5205#sthash.BD26KI5j.dpuf
Many critics, no defenders - translators have but two regrets: when they hit - no one remembers, when they miss - no one forgets.
Ответить

Вернуться в «Юмор»